Its People like her that make it hard for me to believe in anything.... Especially God. I Mean I believe, Dont get me wrong. But Ever time i think of her, it makes me questoin everything. The World is an ugly place. Chaos, Destruction, Disorder, Mayhem, People are ugly, and yet, why would there be some people who break that mold, who beg to defy all laws of everything. Beautiful in every way possible, defying all the believes of the modern world. She just makes me so inclined to NOT believe because of who She is.... What she is, theres just no describing it. I have my moments where i go into spaz mode, because, honestly, Yea, Im afraid to die. Who Wouldn't be if the only way you can see it in your head is that you see hear, feel everything for the duration of the 20 minutes it takes all of the oxygen to be removed from your brain. It makes it hard to sleep some nights, I know i shouldn't be worried about this stuff, i have my whole life in front of me. But you see, i say that today, but 16 Years ago feels like only yesterday, and im betting 44 years from now will feel like Just tomorrow... Which brings me to why i fear death. I dont fear death itself, i know i must come to is grasps somedays, but i fear mostly, being parted with the ones I love. "If Eternity were tomorrow, and The Beginning of Time was yesterday, I would want to live two days ago." All i know is, I believe in God, but... That lurking thought of an eternity of complete Black because someone closed my volnerable eyes so i would look good in a coffin.... Lingers at the back of my mind... Along with the thought that, although she may be long past mine when that day comes... if shes not... the thought of never being the next time i see her, due to the fact that i will no longer think.... scares me beyond compare.


Random Thought of The Day

How far into the ground would a penny travel if dropped from the top of the Sears Tower?