I can't lie anymore. I don't care. She doesn't care, why should I? BECAUSE I DO! I can't help it. I realized tonight, how much I want her back... but, I know I will never get the chance to prove that to her, that we will work. She love's him... I know she does. I let it just breeze by me, when she said she was at his house with his sister, and he spilled it all... She forgave him that night, and my life started to suck. She can read this and think what she wants. I don't care, hate, dislike, or anything, all I know is, there is nothing I wouldn't do for a second chance, I would climb the highest mountain, Scale the tallest building, eat spinach... heh... no.... seriously. Nothing will ever work out if both people aren't trying to make it. I guess i just chose the wrong time for it all. I know now, if I hadn't been so stupid, and I would have waited like I had originally planned, until she was over him.... it might have turned out better. I was foolish to believe her, when she told me that she was over him. I was foolish in all I did, my attempts to fill the holes in which he had created. Why? Because I didn't want her to be sad. It killed me inside, to see someone so great, so... I can't use the word I'm looking for, because it hurts to say it. I was torn apart when she told me what he did, and when he LIED to her, and I found out, that fire was blue, hotter then anything hell could dish out. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind. I still am. That won't do any good though. Sitting here mopeing about it, won't do anybody any good, if a second chance was meant, it will come, I doubt it will... but I hope there will be one. I was happy once. When the stars were bright. I used to smile when, all I saw was her. I was stupid when, Fools rush in. The words in my head right now, are telling me so much more to write, I can't stop now, but I must. I, don't cry. I feel no emotion for, I'm a mindless, gutless brute of a man, who plays sports and has no mercy for anyone, and all I want girls for is sex. Yea thats it, thats me right there. *sigh* When the sands of time are with you, life is bitter sweet, for you have a chance at finding something, something worth fighting for. You think you have found a cause, something worth dying for, and someone takes it away. I feel like, I'm on a desert island, placed here because I have done wrong. All I wanted, was to make her happy, but in the end, he will have to do. I know that she loves him, and theres nothing I can do, and theres nothing I want to do... Love is a powerful, thing. I have never experienced it, but I wish I could have. I guess it outweighs all strenghts in a man though. If a woman loves a man, no matter what wrong may lie in him, that love, that bond, will forever exist. No matter what. I need now to only realize all I can do, is step aside. Second place, in yet another thing, beaten to the gold by default. Nichole, I would have, and will still do anything for you, but, I guess all I really need to do, is let you go... Have Fun.




Random Thought of The Day:

If someone came knocking at your door, and you answered, only to have them drop dead.... how would you feel?