Spinning

Motivation = 0

I'm so dead today. I don't know why, it started out so well also... anyways.

The good and the bad, and the bad somewhat win, but a lingering speck of good shines through like a jet of light so intense, I must squint.

I like an amazing girl. I think I will tell her tomorrow. Yea.

Random Thought of The Day:
How does one go about asking something when they don't know how? Why not me?

Musical Flops and Sandy Coated Socks

The realization has hit me. This is it. The last time I will get to sit in the dark with the proud few I cherrish most. It came like a rush of brick into a mouthful of face. I landed on my bed and haven't moved until this moment, I didn't cry, but I sat in reccollection of all the good times, and the first's. The first time I was back stage during a show, the first time I acted and Teched, the first time I acted... the first time I met this girl... So many things I am going to miss... so many things I don't want to let go. I feel like im spinning and everything is being yanked from my arms, but I'm holding on just well enough to make sure they can't escape my grasp.

So much to write, so little want to express such things as of the fear of letting them getaway.

Random Thought of The Day:

I hope Bless is alright.

Grey Haired Fools, and Well Written Lines

Play time is here,
play time for all,
come to the play,
where i sing and dance all queer.

...

Never again.

So things will either fall into place or apart tomorrow. There are many a thing I would like to put in here, there are many a thing I would like to plave among the few that make this cut, but, among them two stand out. Show and Presentation. I hope the show goes well tomorrow, I know it will be good, I'm more worried about my presentation my "lines" to the "audience", and I hope they are willing to accept them as I give them. I really suck at the whole, giving thing, so we will see what is up with that.

Random Thought of The Day:

You have come here, for one purpose and one alone, and one alone... Phantom of the Opera. Great movie.

Show Week...

Yea, it is show week, and I literally have grey hair coming in, and no time coming out. So as such, I will make this post short and sweet.

Cake.

Short and sweet.

Random Thought of The Day:

I have never heard a teacher say"Wanna see my woody..." And the even more traumatizing part... She was a woman.

The Editble Rabbits and the Sand Stone Stars

Reason for the title... I really don't know but I will get back to you on that one, as soon as I figure out why I used that...

So I haven't had time to update lately, I have been frantically trying ot get all of my work done for school as well as I have needed to get a lot of my stuff done in the wee hours of the morning. Theatre is what is running my life right now, Musical is less then two weeks away, and we still have a lot to do. In a week's time we will be performing it for the Middle School students, scary thought, to be eyed down by the little people of this time, only to get small smirks of laughter at the more adult jokes, and yet this still should be quite amusing. Yea if you are wondering what we are doing, The Wizard of Oz, with a twist, a Turner twist. It's basically like a lemon twist, only the lemon is a little bit more sweet then sour.

So I have been spinning a lot lately, I'm getting pretty good too. My Stylus' are getting really thin though so I need to spin a little less to make sure I still have some grip for the two upcoming saturdays. I might need to make a run to ATPT over the weekend to get kits to make new ones, because I really don't need all new cartridges just yet. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm talking about album spinning records, and their turntables. Yes I know, everyone who I talk to says.... Wha? You just sit in your room and spin... Yes... that is it... That is totally it. That's all I do anymore. Sit in my chair, look at the ceiling, focus on one spot.... push off the desk... and spin... Over and over and over until my head falls off and I throw up.

Wow. Writing is coming pretty easy today, and yet, it really doesn't sound like me writing. Who am I. Who is this? I guess it might be because I'm stuck at a cross roads...

Random Thought of The Week:

Deaf Chicks are Hott. Haha, Just kidding... *Shutting up now*

I'm so tired. I don't know why. I feel like I'm running, but, I keep falling. Strangest feeling ever.

Nothing to do. I want to spin but I really can't bring myself to it.

Random Thought of The Day:

I'm bored.

I Got my new records today. Bjork... that is, I only got one of the two, but It's still awsome. Now I need new cartridges though... mine are getting worn down, but, I might be able to rig some new Stylus' on and just use those if possible... because the Stanton's I want... are $148 each... one cartridge... and I need two.... Sad thing is those would be worth more then both of my turntables. So I'll wait and just buy a Stanton Starter Kit, and or new Stanton's later on.

My day.

Rocked.
If only...

Random Thought of The Day:
The Macarena... I have never seen it so white before...

Title:

Very interesting day, after surviving an entire day on nothing more than one hour of sleep and 3 BAWLS... I can't really remember much of what happened. All I know is, I realized how much crap English is when your teacher has a bia's towards everything and anything. Although corrupt and very much so mentally unstable, Adolf Hitler, was a Great Writer. If your writing s can influence people with such passion, and power... there has to be something there. Anyways. Yes, physco, but very convincing. It's 10:15... I need to go finish rotoscoping.

Random Thought of The Day:

Blank

the 12th. Day started out good. Just went down hill from there... Regretting some things, but there is always tomorrow.

Random Thought of The Day:

When walking with Light Sabers at school... "Yay! StarWars!" is going to be the only thing your going to get from bystanders... Should have seen that one coming.

Falling. Nothing to grab onto. I scream. Nothing comes out. The sheer force of my fall sucks my sounds out. Spinning. As I fall I begin to spin, cartwheeling over and over, a sort of haphazard aerial ballet. Nothing to stop me but the ground. I careen into a goose fluttering by, ricochet off the tail of an airliner, then through a blanket of snow. How can I stop, the obstructoins in my way only seem to make me go faster. Faster and faster I fall, nothing to stop me, nothing to care about stopping. It begins to go black, I begin to get dizzy, I begin to slip in and out of conciousness. My eyes become heavy, and the scream of the air leaving my head grows louder as I fall farther and farther up. I gasp for breath, and with my final view of the majestic blues, the searing reds, glittering golds, and the taunting greens, a vision that seems to dance in my mind, in such a way that it will never leave it. A vision so beautiful, the only comparison on Earth would be that but the crystal smile on a childs face, the jagged edge of a round surface, the smooth side of a course boulder, and the music of the laughter of friends rolled into one sitting, something that would be hard for even the strongest of minds to digest. As I gasp for breath on this final occasion, never to breath again, and to float aimlessly into the depths of space, never again to set foot on the place of my captivity, I wake up. Only, when I wake up, I am not awake. For if I am, why am I falling?


Falling Up. Different Concept.


If beauty were measured, and beauty was financial, would I be poor? How would it be measured? Would it be based on looks, where I would be among the average to lower class. Would it be personality, where I would yet again fall into the average class. Or would it endeavor out onto a limb and be measured in terms of how many colors we could see? In which case the blind would be richest of all, the deaf would be right there with them, and the ones stuck using all sense's were the middle class. Yes, that's it. For, the colors seen by the blind are so extravagent, people with eyes couldn't comprehend them. The beauty they possess, is that of a heaven, a utopia in which not everyone is allotted a place of leave. Only those blessed with the gift may go there. Some see the gift as a defect in their body, others see it as a disability, I see it as an extra state of wonder. To be blind is to see the world through eyes that know not chaos, dismay, and things such as anguish, and bitterness. For their virgin eyes, are untainted with the filth of the world, and are thus able to see things in a light so bright, so vibrant, and so beautiful, if someone granted sight were to catch a glimpse of them, it would sear their eyes in such a way, not only would they not be able to comprehend what they had just seen, but they be left in a state of wonder and awe, for with their eyes the can see parts of this lights beauty, but they could not begin to comprehend its full magnitude. Thus is the same with the deaf. They hear things so colorful in nature, so immortaly tantilizing to the ear, that if a sane person were the hear such things, they would be driven into a state of insanity trying to understand a single note of the heavenly song...

Society.
Corrupt.
Unjust.
Home.

Peace.
Non-existant.
Lack of violence.
No Life.

Life couldn't exist in peace, it's just... not possible.

Recently i just haven't been motivated enough to write in this. And or I just honeslty, haven't had time. I would sit here at my desk with the box opened, and the cursor blinking... Blinking.... Blinking. Nothing would come to mind. I felt as if, I just didn't have anything to say. Life is good I guess, no real complaints. I'm still alive aren't I? Other then that yea. Nothing much is going on.

Random Thought of The Day:

People Are Stupid... and they are even more stupid in large quanities.

The little men, who were yet still very large, were part of something even smaller...

I'm so bored. I have never been so on top of things. I have finished what I need to have done, for the most part, and I get paid tomorrow. Fun

Bored, and tired. Brain Hindering abilities to stay awake... Sleepage commencing.

Night

Random Thought of The Day:

How Many People Will Come To Our Show... if they know I'm Uncle Henry.... :/

Like clock work, they slide out of his hand. Shearing through the air is the passed. Slicing like silver bullets... no, silver darts through slices of paper. Severing the ties between two equals with ease. One, Two, Three he threw, more on their heels. The air began to churn in uproar, the essence of smoke tickled their sense's, and the smoke itself, danced in the slicing air. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, faster and faster he threw, aiming to mame, to dismember, to destroy. His hands gingerly repeating the motion, making it quite clear he was no stranger to the actions at hand. Nothing could break his concentration, not the ripple of time as is brushed past them all, or the sheirk of the air as it cried out in pain, as it was being murdered alive, slaughtered, like animals on old mc's farm. He finished his assault, and disarmed himself, picking up another weapon of choice. Rolling it between his fingers, he waited in patience, as he stared down the competition. Fourty, Fifty, the pot began to grow, he tossed in his chips, and they began to play.

Poker at its finest.

NOT... Can't Write Today!

The harmonic noise tickled his tounge, as the tastes of the sky he saw, nothing could stop him for he was immortal, until he discovered his fault. Nothing can last without heaven's wings, and without those he know's he must, discover a new way of life as we know it, a way of discovering one-self....

what...?


Let the fingers do the thinking and this is what you get.

Random Thought of The Day:

asdfjkl; Home Keys...

I'm scared... What if it's for real this time... What if... Downward spirals with upward ends, Thats how my life goes. I hope to God it's not... I... I don't know what to do.

*Squimish he crawls into the back corner and begins to sob*
The uncontrolled sobs are heard by no one but himself, for even after he leaves the corner he is still sobbing. Holding inside great rivers, which if let to flow the results could be catastrophic, if the right implements aren't in place.

Random Thought of The Day:

Where will I be in 40 years...?

The Trains stops but once at your doorstep, and if you let it close it's doors and start on again, chances are you won't be able to catch up to it. If you see the opening you want, don't wait for the train to begin its move into the mysterious beyond. Take a chance, leap onto its frail frame, take a step into the wonders it might hold within. Never think of the negatives, only the positives, no matter how bad the negatives are. For the train may crash, and things me get broken, but you will never know the great things that would have , or could have been, if you don't take that first step, onto its rugged decks.

Random Thought of The Day:

6 Hours of work this week... Yes....

I stepped into the room with the jagged blue walls. The stench of death, destruction, flowers, and coffee rediated about me. The walls lined like a uniformed army, impenitrable in all areas. I couldn't look anywhere without seeing shades of different colors. Reds, Blues, Greys, Whites, Absences of color, and fraying edges of it. Knights of the round table chased me as I entered. Surrounding me with spears and pikes. All stained in blood and gunk. I stood very still as to not anger them. All mounted atop valiant steeds, all dressed in Knight atire, all poised to strike at the very sign of a single breath from my bossom. I held fast, and they lost interest, striding away in the mysterious beyond, to a place I could never wander. I tripped and fell over a pile of hoe-boe's, landing in a river of defeat, that reaked with the stench of a thousand dead American soldiers. A mans head, flaoted past, eyes dead cold, staring at me, almost through me, sending shivers of fear, and of pain down my adolscent spine. Why am I in this place, where the high walls roam, and the mountains talk? Why am I surrounded by the being of neverland and the fiends of hell. Is there not a place for our youth to meander far from, where they can be free. Not a place where I can set my sights on the high place where the heavens lay, or where the shivers of time, and the shreads of life are non-existant. No there is no such place, nothing hidden within. Although much is within, nothing like that will ever darken this place. For the halls are too high and the walls to narrow. The only things lerking in this great abyss are those things seen as tangible, no feats of greatness lie in this domain. For the human mind is too dim in its triumphs to even begin to comprehend such a place. I know now, that although in this great lybrinth of knowledge there are wonders of the world, wonders of science, and wonders of sound, but there is nothing in here that can pronounce anything remotely close to what one truely needs. The walls of the libraries are boundaries for all, and they are walls too high to bound, the only way one can truely escape the grasp of the Poes, the Clancy's the Nancy's and the Speare's, is to become one with them in eternity, to lie on the same level, to go to the place where the air runs free, and the life taste great. Books are nice, an escape from the real world, but nothing is better than the escape from life itself.

2005 Whoo Hoo... I think....

Thoughts of you running through his head. Nothing can stop him now. Racing in and out were figures of you, laughing, talking, singing, dancing. He was in a trance, a state of pure misbelief, glazed in the eyes, like a zombie but very much alive. Nothing could stop him now, as he raced down the street. The numbers climbing in the corner of his eye. 70.... 80.... the hum of the air around the car becoming almost deafening, 90.... 100... Weaving in and out of cars, traffic from this position looked like it was at a stand still, His open road, His land of speed, His bastion. Nothing could stop him now, not the world, not the sky, not the head upon his shoulders, not even the thoughts running in his head. Nothing could stop him he thought... Not the speed, not the memories, nothing... Nothing stopped him, except for the alcohol in his blood, and the cement divider he met at 145... The twisted mass of cold steel, and fire careened off the highway. Flipping over several times, ejecting its occupant a 100 yards, impaling him on a small road sign. Someone said the car looked as if it had been chewed up and spit out. Mashed and mangled in such a way, it was not thought humanly possible. The jagged mass of steel, was about the size of a big rig cab, nothing more. Finally coming to rest around a tree, wrapped, like a bow at christmas time. The fumes of gasoline and antifreeze, were strong, and the stench of death reaked like a cloak over the entire scene. Chills ran up the spines of those coming to see what had happened. A chill not only of cold, but of fire, a feeling of remorse sorry, and an everlasting regret, for they knew, they could be next. The mass of metal grew all the attention, bystanders leaving their cars, and parking on the highway to call the police... The mans body, only sat in waiting, for discovery, only to be found by a crow, hows first ambition, was to peck at his empty, lifeless eyes. Nothing can stop him now. He's on his way, to the place with the happies, the place, where we all will go. Nothing.

Wow that sucked. I really can't write today.

Too many things are running thought my mind. It's 2005. 5 Months and half of my friends leave. Never again to darken my doorway. The thought of this is gut wrenching. I know they are all happy to leave highschool, and that makes me feel weird, because, I'm scared. We will see.

Random Thought of The Day:

New Year's Resolution: Everyday, Do something I normally wouldn't. (Within Reason)