The Easy Way: A Tribute to Society and It's Inner Workings

Have you ever wanted to look away from me,
try your hand at things see what you can be,
Have you ever wanted to stop dead and think,
about the times you had a knife over the sink,
It doesn't matter all of the thoughts that you had,
doesn't even matter that the other was your dad,
You pulled the trigger on you both,
and now your both in a six foot place,
where the sun don't shine and the grass grows dark,
and the efervecance of society is lost,
a place where there is complete peace.

The easy way out with a smokin' gun,
The easy way out seems like soo much more fun,
The easy way out seems like the better thing to do,
The easy way out, is it the right think for you?

Have you ever tried to hang yourself,
Slit your throat,
Drain yourself,
Of all the passion's strung within,
Between shambles of human trust,
And bits of human "must",
The kinda that make angels flinch and devils cry,
The sins that are soo greedy even God can't lie,
The things that you do, are not worth forgiving,
But he forgives you anyways.

Have you ever tried drinking,
Toxin's and Dust,
The dust that crystals make,
To make the yellow boy speed and the blue one chill,
The kinda that you take thinking it's a pill,
A passionate escape, from the hell that is your life,
A passionate escape, from the powers of your strife,
Never again will you down one more pill,
Never again will you swallow one more pint,
You took the easy way out, and now your just like them,
The dismembered of society,
The numbers,
The ten.

The Never ending thoughts,
Even when in pain,
Never forgotten, never displayed.

Society - 1. A Homosapien's mixed up version of "reality". 2. Greedy and Powerful Humans whom have thoughts of themselves running rampid in their minds. 3. A crock. 4. The difference between the proud few and the fooled masses.

Society... Are you one?

Society... Do you want one?

Society... Just do it.

Society... Crap.


Raks... haha i mean TAKS.... yea... umm... cool testy thing.... but again i don't think they will be too obliged with my writing of suicide, homicidal tendencies, and the elderly... Meh... *shrugs*

Random Thought of The Day:
I saw a six fingered man...

Lightning is cool, unless your 11 feet tall, and made of steel.

<>
I talked to Kendra... thats about it.

Too good for T.V.

I hate the fact that everyone in this world is s owarpped up on themselves at times... it's sickening. Customers in particular believe they are your only priority, they are the only person that exists in their world, you and them and nothing else, all of this world, this live around them, this shroud of ambience, backdrop of moving "pictures" is nothing more than a figment of their imaginations...

I was at Wal-Mart today... two men walked out on crutches, both going to different cars... the younger of the two, looking more helpless than the older man called out, "heh, looks like we are in the same boat buddy." The older man grinned. I walked past them... and stopped, after putting one foot in the door... I turned and ran back to help the younger man whom was fumbling to push his cart and hobble at the same time, while the older gent was still striding to his car. "Sir, would you like me to help you with that," I asked, a look of relief spreading across his face... "Sure." I helped the man put the groceries into his car, and talked to him about my instances of fracturing my knee, he had a broken ankle, but was getting a new cast in a few weeks. He thanked me and went on my his way... Was I wrong... I choose too help the younger gentlmen, verse the older man, whom probably needed my help more, but I acted soo fast on my heels and in the light of the moment, as to who looked like they could use more of my help but... Why couldn't I have helped both of them... or if not both, should I have helped the younger man, or the older one... Either way it annoys me that no one else did anything to aide the older gentlmen... Am I the only person on this earth... male that is... that... gives a damn about everyone else?

I guess I care too much... but if that be the case, then so be it, I be an offender in the highest, I car more for my peers, my friends, my family... than I do for myself... Is that wrong? It may not be that I care more for them, not to put myself down, but... Is it wrong that I DO care about them as well as myself? Am I a freak to society? My images in my head are skewed, and my brain somewhat twisted, but, I still see the light at the end of the tunnel as bright as the man with no eyes, as loud as the man with no ears, and as fierce as the man with extreme courage, and yet, am I still not, or I still am not... an equal to them. The mute men sing a chorus of song that the deaf men can hear without aide, the blind draw extreme works of art that make angels cry and the night sky glisten, this is a verse from a holy song, a hymn so sacred and old, that if such a verse is to come again, is creator be young and cold, so I be this man, the bringer of ice, the sinner of caring too much, I cast thine own passions aside and live for the valor of life.

The sharp steel, glistined in the foggy fading sunlight, on that dusk in 1914, that Christmas past still fresh in his mind. The hilt became heavy as a seconds time felt like centuries, and a minutes felt like eternities. His eyes met with his foes, and locked into place, staring right though the cold blues and into the mystic black abyss beyond the scope of human vision. Flurries of childhood song, ambushes of family reunions and lustrious loves filtered out of his eyes, like beacons of passion, a fire so bright, it seared into the back of his skull, like a thousand needles being pressed outward from the inside. As his head began to spin and the final second passed, in a series of five that seemed like forever, he whispered in vain and in a slight state of homage a chant that will live on forever, "See you on the other side... My Brother." He tensed up his arm with all of his might, and forced the cold steel bayonnet into his fallen brothers jugular, spilling its contents withing a three foot radius. He spun his gun twice and fell to his knees, dropping his gun with landed with a soft patter in the murky mud beside him, as it tore through the flesh and bone around the space soon to be occupied by its bayonnet. The sound of this was that of a sucking noise, possibly from a last dying breath, or from the dislocation of the vertibret as the pointy steel extremity passed through it like a hammer though concrete. Hands over his face he sat there and wept, for this fate was one he couldn't own... could he?

Random Thought of The Day:
Kendra was back... :) X 100

Week of Sick Feelings and Dorky Smiles

Well all week the people who matter most to me have been getting sick and it kinda sucks. Nothing I can really do though, so I decided to be myself and make some cards for them with corny little sayings on them to cheer them up. I think it worked, which made my last few days, i.e. yesterday and thrusday, better then they had been originally.

Only thing is that people who are sick are going to miss things they really wanted to go too, which I think is really lame, but honestly I would rather have them stay at home and get better, and or have me be sick and have them able to go. *shrugs* anyways.

Do people think I'm physco? In English class none the less everyone in there thinks I should be committed. Why is it when you make a plan to write something, and the plan involves Albert Einstien and how he went insane, and or people committing suicide over stupid things, they automatically think that you need help... ! Is it a sin, or is it against society to have grand ideas that shock people when they see them. To make them have that double take when they read the words on your paper? I don't know, but I guess society isn't well enough to hear about itself yet, or at least the people in it, are to afraid that if someone speaks the truth they are going to ruin this "utopia" we live in, their own haven of sex, drugs, guns, happiness, and the small few who are able to make it by with what they have and live happy lives without all of those things. I just think it is stupid that if someone starts to talk out of line, they are a threat to humanity... *Shrugs* It's not like I'm going to shoot up the school, I just have a vivid Imagination, and i guess that scares people... I know it scares me sometimes.

Random Thought of The Day:
A smile from chicken soup.
Hitting Ashli with a stick.
Having a magnum pointed to my chest... not fun.

Jumping too fast, needle strung breaks

For once in my life, I'm actually truely happy with all that is giong on... minus the fact that my grades are slipping somewhat, which I need to work on, other then that I'm extremely happy with what is going on.

Sunday I was a little too fast to jump to conclusions... What I did was awsome, and I guess the reason I was viewing it as such was because my brain doesn't or rather, can't comprehend the term "perfect" and when the perfect night happened... I guess I needed to make up some sort of excuse to make it fit in my daily routine of things. *Shrugs*

Monty Python and The Holy Grail... Great movie, exceptionally better when you get to watch it with the right person. I don't think I have seen that movie as being so funny, interesting, entertaining, and obscure at the same time... ever. In short, a holiday that I never really looked at as being necessary, was for once, accepted as something that isn't just for corprate gain, and mushy cards... or broken cookies in large heart shaped boxes with cool "drarings" of people on them, and weird writing. *Shrugs* meh, all I know is, It's time for me to get on the bed, so, night to all.

Random Thought of The Day:
Conversation playing back in my mind, what a pretty smile... and her mom's cake is awsome too.

Ripping at the Seams of steel sewn thread

I tried the best I could... I wish I could have done better. *Shrugs* I guess I did ok... She deserved soo much more, but, with what I had, I gave... and I think I did alright, not to be conceited.

So this weekend i managed to get yelled at, at work, praised at work, yelled at at home, praised at home... and kicked down several times... It was all worth it though... just for that smile... yea.... definately worth it... every second of it.

Ummm yea... I can't think about anything right now im still stuck on yea... anyways...

Random Thought of The Day:

Why am I so lame?

Leather Strap Watch

Coffee smells hint about the still night air,
The essence of sweet yet strong,
Poise and sorrow,
Nothing but a yonder light,
Shimmering in his eyes,

What different aspects of life one see's,
When looking through another's eye,
The vision's of sound through the blind man's heart,
The shrills of color through the deaf man's brain,
The ambience about us scattered all around,
Not one thing to grab onto as I plunge toward the ground,

Heart beat getting faster,
The deadline getting near,
Never had such feelings,
Nothing held so dear,
Brain playing games,
Mind playing tricks,
One more try,
Another Pixie Stick,

The candy of tomorrow,
The problems of today,
I wish the day's were longer,
I wish how time could stay,

Even past the trials,
One step farther than the fears,
I'll never lose the feelings,
I have held onto for many years,
I'm not known for my conscience,
Nor renound for all my snears,
But I pray you bid me this,
Hold on throughout the years,

Colors blue and yellow,
Red and black won't do,
Friend's are for forever,
Unless things never bloom,

Bring out your fascination's,
Never hide them in,
Time is of the essence,
And essence is drawing near,

Spinning in circles,
The man walked straight to and fro,
But when challeneged to do it steady,
He sloppily staggered...

lost my train... left the station....

my day was odd... weird... cool... and.. interesting all in one little taco sized package.

I'm dead right now, I really feel like crap... I have a headache, a stomach ache... I just feel like crap.. please be better tomorrow... please....

Random Thought of The Day:

... Blank feelings running in and out, Blank feelings running in and out...
Blank faces staring at me, Blank stares glaring at me, Blank smiles on non-existant faces,
What a wonderful world are these hollow blank spaces,
What a precious place are the jagged red pages,
Of the books torn to hell with the annotated things,
And the spikey colored rings, Scattered with the scars from a thousand prying eyes,
Trampled pieces of art, with a million dead sighs...
Dead.

Telescopic View of Microscopic Terms

My weekend was... well to say the least awsome. I hope the way I feel about it was shared, but yea, I really don't know if it is, but it's nice to think that it is. I don't know but lately I have been in a weird mood, not myself, I don't know why. Oh wait, wait I partly know why, maybe it's because I feel sort of out of place in that I am doing Ballet... yea... I am not a ballet partner. Honestly though, its really not that bad. Harder, much harder, then it looks, as well as a lot more fun then I thought it would be. I have a few things that I dislike, but for the most part it is really awsome. But that was over my week. My weekend though, thats a totally different thing. Kendra's sister is now 15, it was her birthday and so every 5 minutes i kept recieving calls to go over there and "celebrate" her birthday... I know as well as Chanea and Rachel they just wanted me to go over there to see Kendra, which I don't mind at all, I enjoy seeing her soo much, but, I just don't want her to get sick of me. Which I think this thought has popped into my head and made me crawl back into my shell, and put on this blank face, and stare into the mysterious beyond of what is the motions of life. No emotion existant on my face. Although the bottle inside is about to burst. Meh, as long as she doesn't get sick of me, its all cool. Anyways, umm.. yea, that was honestly most of my weekend, I didn't watch the super bowl, I went to starbucks and saw Kendra and helped her sister and her best friends sister with their homework. It was lots of fun, and I have no complaints minus the fact that they started to talk about dancing, and I was talking about sports... and Bless' (Kendra's Best Friend) litter sister, Hannah, decided to tell me that I didn't know what I was talking about hard work, or something like that, "You wouldn't know, you don't take ballet..." as this I smiled and made a weird noise like "ehhh." It made me feel really weird lying... and yet... not. So eventually I just let it come out, asking if they girls knew what a "fish" or however its spelled or yea, was, and they all said they did, and I proceeded to show them that I knew what it was and yea. So thats my story. Wow venting is really helping.

Oh also, they said I have a good singing voice... I still don't think so... But alrighty then.

You never close your eye's anymore when I kiss your lips...
There's no tenderness like before in your fingertips....

Great song.

Today. Well Lets Move onto today...

Today was a typical monday, nothing really cool happened minus the fact that I got to talk to Sofia, I haven't had a chance to talk to her in so long, I forgot how much fun she is to talk to. Very intelligent, she makes me feel so small, which is wierd for me, because I'm used to makeing small jokes around people and around her I feel like I can't make jokes because she is bigger then me. Anyways.

I got back a paper I totally Bsed in English on "The Scarlet Letter", this is funny because Mrs. Naugher grades on an AP Scale, which usually means you have to at least open your book to do good. I never opened the book except for maybe once to read a few clips people had pointed out to me, and I got an 8, or a 90, with nothing more then a pile of marshmellowy fluff.. I feel bad about it, but I couldn't get into the book. *Shrugs* I'm just glad that the spark notes were well worth the read.

Random Thought of the Day:

LO i'm VE (With You) ~ Chanea and also CRAZY
-------
U ~ I will claim that one.

Worst Day of My Life...

Yesterday Sucked. It just goes to prove i suck at this whole life thing. My day started with me ruining my car, and then continued with me messing up our filming, and then doing horribly on a test. It then continued with Mrs. Naugher yelling at the class and making us write an essay as to why some of us can't keep our mouths shut. I hate my class in there... Some of them anyways. They can't keep their mouths shut. It's so annoying, but it just goes to prove, maturity doesn't come with age.

My day then moved from there and yea. I got a better paycheck then expected but I'm not giong to be able to use those for a few months now to fix my car... because im a dumb retard. GAWH I suck at life.

And I deleted a picture that i really wish i hadn't and i didnt even realize i had done it.... it sucked so much. Blah! Hopefully this weekend looks up... oh yea, and the work schedule sucks too.

Random Thought of The Day:
It's nice to know that when your day sucks so much that you don't feel like living anymore, because you feel like the worst person on earth, and then you see that smiling face... and you lose all of the thoughts of the days events, you lose all the thoughts of pain and sorrow, and all you can think about is that face, and how much joy it brings you.

Skittles, Fondo, and Fingertips

The intoxicating feeling i get when life crawls up under my door.
Oh, what wonder's await me yonder yet my own door.
What happiness doth my day have in store, for the young adolescent whom is nieve?
What a tangled web we wieve me and my meandering friend.
Why tickle at my sense's and flurry the butterflies?
Why force a frown when I would rather smile?
Damn you and damn me for listening!

From now on, solo is the way for me,
Conscience flurries of chivilristic intention allowed,
But thoughts of another, denied.
Never again will I be taken alive and swalloed whole,
Never again will I pile my plate to the sky, only to realize I was already full.
I delegate now my time and efforts among those that matter most,
The essence of her smile,
The grin of an audience face,
The greif of a friend,
The suppression of the younger self I have known way too well.
Be Gone, Leave what you must, take what you will, I will be here ready for anything.

He who stand's in my way, shall be teach the way of steps,
He who builds a wall, will find a hole cut in it,
He who digs a river, will discover a raft on the other side,
He who decides to fight will be learned, with my pen and my ink at my side, a force to be reckoned with we make,
Those who face me, those who demand shall be taught ways of new thought,
Those who weep in front of me, will be given my sleeve to wipe away their tears and my hand to pick them up,
And with this, my tattered clothes and my empty pockets, I make my declaration,

Never again, pile the plate to the sky,
Choose only the most delecate of things,
A little thing here, a few things there, and sprinkle them with the topping so sweet it makes the entire thing float.
Never will the blue jays rain on my parade, let the sparrows saranade on my porch,
Let the owls sleep in my tree, for I am an owl, and I am a sparrow, and although my song,
Sweet, and Fluffy, is a song of truth, nothing will happen to you, I will protect,
The falling holes the sprinkled tops,

With Cherry Flavored lollipops,
Sugar Coated walls,
The world is sweet,
But we are not allowed to touch,
Unless we can untangle ourselves from the bindings we have been banished too.




Umm... yea.... The Fingers do the work, I never read it.

I never got to do what I said I was going to do today... There is always tomorrow... for now... I hope never to let another tomorrow pass, for life is too short, and there are some things we shouldn't let slip between our fingers like the sands of time, whether they be the dullest pebble, or the birghtest diamond.

Random Thought of The Day:

You never realize how much you are doing until you take a step back and just look... I need to make a list of the things that are most important to me. Starting with...